“And another thing…”—Pride Month 2: Electric Boogaloo

Everyone “knows” (gets an idea), because anyone can see it. It’s a minor thing about me, but it’s impossible to hide and impossible to miss. Addressing it changes nothing, because I’m still the same person I was before telling anyone about it - but addressing it also changes everything, because part of what changes is how other people approach me. In light of announcements like this, in a perfect world, people would inspect their own beliefs and prejudices to learn how to approach me and people like me with more decency and respect moving forward. Gratitude and love to everyone that already does this for me, specifically - but as of writing this, this is not the world that we all unfortunately share.

The COVID-19 pandemic continues to impact everyone and everything, still exposing many harsh truths. Systemic oppression of marginalized people - in forms of racism, police brutality, wage inequality, workers’ rights, and access to healthcare, among so many others - continues to be brought to light. By comparison, one person’s painting their nails is objectively less significant.

June is LGBTQIA+ Pride Month and is a time of celebration, but I believe that there is room for education in celebration, and vice-versa. October is LGBTQIA+ History Month and is a time of education - another opportunity to acknowledge, learn, and respect the history of LGBTQIA+ people and their endeavor for human rights. October 11 is a special day, especially for a Yup’ik and Sugpiaq/Alutiiq Alaska native like me because not only is it Indigenous Peoples Day, but it’s also National Coming Out Day.

In case it wasn’t obvious: my use of “painting my nails” has been a metaphor for being queer. No one is any part of the LGBTQIA+ community because they paint their nails, and not everyone paints their nails because they are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I am queer. I paint my nails. Individual things that I am and do are not all of who or what I am, but they are part of it.

Many people view “queer” as a slur - and just about as many non-LGBTQIA+ people try to weaponize it as a slur. Not everyone reclaims it as a label for themselves, but I do. Whether labels are claimed or reclaimed, or not - as long as you own something about yourself, people can’t use it against you.

Strangers, acquaintances, and “family” - online and off, all my life long - by acknowledging this truth, I’m not proving those bullies or bigots right about myself or the important people in my life, like I originally always thought I would be. These people asserting their perception of me isn’t them “knowing all along” or telling me who or what I am, or telling my loved ones who or what they are. It never should have been, and it won’t ever be again.

Life is short, and each of us only gets so much time and energy while we’re here. Exceptions apply, but it’s freeing to realize how little opinions about people don’t matter - not only others’ opinions about you, but also your opinions about others. Once you stop judging other people, you stop feeling judged yourself. Now you can use that time and energy for other things! I maintain that if you enjoy something enough, if it makes you feel like your most comfortable and authentic self, and if you’re not hurting anyone by doing it, then you should do it. Part of the legacy I want to leave behind is encouragement and uplifting people by fostering love of self and others - not to mention minding my own business.

Collectively, we don’t live in a perfect world. Individually, however, I am the happiest I’ve ever been. Not only am I finally embracing the freedom to be who I am and do what I do, but I am also fortunate and grateful to be surrounded by people that love and support me doing so. Coming out is not for everyone - but by continuing to share my story, I hope to make others comfortable enough to begin pursuing honesty and happiness on their own terms and in their own timing as well. Happy October.